Sunday, December 27, 2015

Not All Wanderers Are Lost

I opened an early birthday present from my two best friends last night. One of the gifts was a kitchen cloth with an imprint of a nautica compass inscribed with the phrase "not all wanderers are lost", which coincidently I learned is a Lord of the Rings reference later on, however I think will be my mantra of the year, tying into the theme of what I am looking forward to, in the new stage of being 34.

My two birthdays that I always reflect on are engraved permanently as a tattoo on my arm and still hold much significance of what has shaped me.  

9° 27' 1 N, 78° 54' 43 W : the San Blas islands off the coast of Panama where, on an island resort on an archipelago surrounded by the Pacific Ocean with nothing but the stars and waves, I came out to myself and took the first steps of what it was like to be comfortable with who I am and how I would present myself to the rest of the world. This was my 16th birthday, my coming of age.

54° 48' 0" S , 68° 18' 0" W - just hiked up a glacier at the edge of the southern most place in Ushua, Argentina. Ice as blue as the ocean. Freezing but proud of the accomplishments I just did. And to top it off, a glass of champagne waiting for me on top to toast officially my legal drinking age and in my mind, an adult. This was a moment literally frozen in time memory- and would always remind me to push myself harder, constantly explore, and never take the opportunity for granted, because let's be real, I've been given so much.I've learned a lot this year (and in some cases, still learning). Stayed friends with those who have been with me thru it all, who can challenge and call me out on my BS, and made new friends with people who I've bonded with on different levels of how I view them as friends. (I think we can say we've had some epic, crazy times together and managed mischief in many ways).  I admit that I def had moments this year which I felt a bit lost or distracted, straying from the path that I have this preconceived notion that I must follow. It happens. I'm human. Sometimes my private life and public personae have a love/hate relationship balance.  I compare myself to the accomplishments of my peers, seeing what they have that I don't, what they have carved out for their lives while I may still be wandering mine.  However, there is no set answer in stone.  I'm still navigating the waters, exploring options and charting new territories. 

But what I know so far, is that I've been blessed with the desire in wanting to do more.  Whatever this power is, I want to do it for the greater good, to play towards my strengths. I've found a niche in my desire to help others, be passionate about causes that I hold dear to my heart and still try to balance an artistic, creative side.  I surround myself and find positive energy in the company I keep.  I love having my different parties as an opportunity for my friends to connect with each other just as much as it gives me time to say hello to them.  Someitimes it's only been a year since we were last in a room together, so it's nice that they look forward to it as well.

I'm excited to spread the same fun to my Charleston friends, to continue the celebration and meet other groups of my friends.

Birthdays 16 and 21 will always remind me of the journey that I've had, the lessons to learn, and the explorations that still await  I will never quite know where the final destination is but I'm I know that I can never be lost if I'm wandering around in the adventure of life.

Thank you for the well wishes and for being a part of my life

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