Friday, June 26, 2015

Marriage Equality: It Is So Ordered

Prob not as coherent as my other writings but this is just off the cuff so bear with me:

One of the trial and tribulations of growing up gay is the fear of "no".  For me, one of these was knowing that once I come out to the world as gay, I would be hit with many walls.  People would hate me, reject me, religions would persecute me - there is this loneliness in the pursuit of trying to truly be yourself and not want to hide any longer.  I think my biggest sadness was the fact that I couldn't' do certain things with the label of being attached to "gay".  I really wanted to have joined the AirForce and continue in my father's footsteps but that was not going to happen with Don't Ask Don't Tell (because clearly, no one really would haven even had to have asked).  I thought I would never be able to be able to experience love like my classmates because "where else can I find someone" and then of course could never get married and eventually have a family. 

I've still been struggling finding my place in this world - but that is just the human experience of it all.  For the gay experience, it's the need of community, to be accepted, to be among peers who will love you for who you are - being completely comfortable in one's own skin.  I might have only felt ashamed for a few brief moments in the past but those feelings past and I remember how much more I have to offer as a human.

With the ending of June, "Gay Pride Month", coming to a close - it is so fitting with today's ruling.  I understand that there will be some whose "religion" has their own set of ideas, however, as I've had in conversations in the past, this moment is about equal rights that will surely trickle down once we get past this "marriage" issue.  It's the basic knowledge that we can't treat one set of people different than the other.

There is so much I want to say and don't have the words for it.  But what I'm really trying to get at, is that as Gay Pride Month comes to a close, I am proud to be a part of this community that works towards equality for all.  I am proud that America has taken a huge step towards equality. I really hope that with this acceptance by our government, the knowledge that we really are all created equal, is that the new generation grows up knowing that that we aren't bound by limitations....less judgement in the world, less fighting, less hate, less suicides - that no child and person feels different or out of place...

What I'm also so proud of, are the friends who I have met along the way who have loved me for who I am, without judgement, who see me as an equal person.  I love being in the company of like minded, open, loving people and allies, because without your love and support, I probably would feel lost and defeated - but your support has always meant the most to me in more ways than you ever have known.  That also goes along with the gay families I have made over the years too - the friendships and the passions we share -the activism in wanting to help our own be lifted up in the eyes of the community and not torn down.

In the past two weeks where emotions have been ups and downs, the common theme in all of this has been love.  Love will always win.  

My heart is happy.  And now we have more work to do to truly make this a better world.


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